Training Days
by Lost forever in books
Summary: What starts off as a normal Shadowhunter training day for Clary and Jace, soon changes when Jace, Alec and Isabelle are called to investigate a demonic disturbance out north of Central Park. What does Jace find that could affect Clary and change their lives and relationship again? Set after CoLS. Jace does not have the'Heavenly Fire' & some mature content about Clary and Sebastian.
1. Chapter 1 - The Wake Up Call

**The Mortal Instruments - FanFiction**

**Training Days...**

**Chapter 1 - The Wake Up Call**

It was early morning and Clary lay asleep, her blankets tangled around her slight frame. Since her mother and Luke's marriage, Clary had been living at the institute. It took a lot of convincing on her behalf - Simon also becoming involved. Since he had began seeing Isabelle Lightwood, he was at ease with the idea that Clary should live at the institute. Jocelyn and Luke were newly married, Clary thought they should enjoy being together without her. Although Luke was definitely comfortable with this situation, Clary knew why her mother objected. Twenty-four hour exposure to the world she had tried to hide from Clary her whole life was something Jocelyn was still trying to comprehend. She never wanted her daughter to dive in head first into the world she had ruined for herself. Yet after some consideration and persuasion about further training for Clary to become a Shadowhunter – still a somewhat reluctant wish by Jocelyn - Maryse Lightwood had won the conflict.

Although it wasn't the most desired arrangement, Clary's room was right next to Isabelles's in the institute. She loved Izzy, she was almost like a sister to her now. Growing up as only child, she had never completely understood the concept of siblings – or so she had thought until she met Sebastian – her flesh and blood brother. Izzy had helped Clary move in to her new room, complaining about the copious array of art supplies that never seemed to end. Since her life of a Shadowhunter had began, Clary had become more of a graphical artist. She often drew with bold lines and less colour these days. Jace was supportive of whatever she drew, but she knew her preferred her coloured sketches, because they represented her personality better.

It was all this, that had led to this point in time. Clary had been at the institute for 3 weeks now, she still struggled to get into the habit of waking up early as all Shadowhunters did. Jace had told her that it wouldn't come easy. After all, he had been rising with the sun all his life. He, Isabelle and Alec, unlike Clary – had it programmed into them at a young age. Just another thing to add to the list of things Clary had missed out on if she was training to be a Shadowhunter at a young age. She was the only Shadowhunter at her age starting the basics. Although she wasn't a beginner, compared to the Lightwood children, she was far from great.

A light tread coming down the hallway outside woke Clary. Her perfect hearing rune enabled her to distinguish footsteps. She knew who it was before they had even reached for the door handle on the outside. Clary smiled to herself and rolled over; if she was still partly groggy from sleep, it was still a good dream. The handle turned and the door opened soundlessly, the person walking inside the room. Clary sensed, rather than heard the distinguishing footfalls now. She knew they had drawn a silencing rune on themselves. As they drew closer – one step away from her bed - Clary sprang into action; sitting up, grabbing the knife that was on her bedside table and holding it to the intruder, all in one fluid motion. A light chuckle filled the space between Clary and the intruder.

"You're getting better," Jace muttered as he reached down and touched her face. "not quite the morning wake up call I was hoping to receive..." He kissed her lips lightly, his hands prying the knife from her grasp and setting it down on the table with an audible _clunk_. Clary smiled against his lips as they broke apart. She pulled him over her until her was lying on the bed next to her. Realising what she wanted, Jace drew her into the circle of his arms – his legs tucking behind hers. They always fit together perfectly. Clary heard Jace sigh in content as the warmth of their joined bodies created a light heat. As always, Clary skin tingled wherever Jace touched her. Even now, the sensations of his touch did things to her body she couldn't always control. They lay together for a few moments. Drinking the scent of each other in. They never grew sick of the other. They were both hooked onto each other like a drug. Jace needed her, Clary needed him.

"I suppose I have to get up now..." Clary murmured softly.  
"Mmm..." was all Jace said, as he kissed her cheek. His hand ran down the side of her body, following the curve of her waist. "We have training in forty minutes," he whispered between the kisses he now traced down the side of her jaw.  
"Is it just us today? Because I really don't want to move yet."  
He chuckled, his whole body vibrating softly with the action. "As much as I approve of this," he ran his hand along the bare skin at the top of her thigh, his hands heated with longing, "I don't think it is constructive training, however physical it might get..."  
Clary turned her head back and looked into Jace's eyes. She poked out her tongue playfully, before reluctantly peeling herself out of Jace's arms – her favourite sanctuary. She rolled over, flipping her feet off the bed before standing up. She leaned forward, placed a chaste kiss on his lips before taking his hands and drawing him up off the bed to her. Despite the height difference, she was still able to pull him up.  
"I will see you in a few minutes then." Clary, looked down at her feet, before trailing her gaze back up to meet his eyes. He had his training face on now. His eyes weren't as loving as they were when they were physical and his jaw was set in a line. To Clary, it was like a business face. Jace's hand reached out – however conscious of the gesture, Clary wasn't sure – and ran the back of his knuckles down her cheek.  
"See you then." Was all he said before he left the room soundlessly.

Momentarily frozen after his touch, Clary shook her head to get back into focus. She went into the bathroom, conjoined to her room. She didn't bother with a shower, knowing that after training she would be having one anyway. She went to the mirror and picked up a hair tie from the basin counter – hoping to sort out the curly mess that was now her hair. Luckily for her, Jace loved her hair, no matter what state it was in. Clary pulled it back off her face as she stared at her bright eyes and pink lips; from the light kisses shared moments before. Walking back into the bedroom, she grabbed some fresh training clothes out of her drawers and changed.

_Perfect_. She thought, before walking out of her bedroom. Eagerly awaiting the day ahead of training with Jace.


	2. Chapter 2 - An Interesting Breakfast

**The Mortal Instruments – FanFiction**

**Training Days...**

**Chapter 2 – An Interesting Breakfast**

Breakfast until now had whirled by in a blur. Clary sat in the kitchen with a piece of toast in her hands as she eyed off Alec's eggs with a look of distaste. Alec didn't usually spend the night at the institute anymore, she usually supposed this meant that he was with Magnus. But, from what Clary had gathered, Alec and Magnus weren't seeing each other anymore. It threw her off momentarily when she thought about it. Magnus had been so involved with the institute and the Clave, as well the Lightwoods' and Clary since he met Alec. Without Alec, it seemed, Magnus refused to have ties with any of them. Maybe the pain was too much? Maybe the association with anything to do with Shadowhunters was now taboo for him? Whatever the circumstance, Alec had been depressed these last few weeks. He only became himself – showed any signs of personality or life – during a fight or aggressive training. It was an awful circumstance to comprehend; that Alec could become so withdrawn and lifeless just by losing his boyfriend. Clary knew better, the way Alec looked at Magnus, was like how she looked at Jace. She knew his pain. She had been there. She had lived it too. Clary was about to open her mouth to say something to Alec when Jace came bounding into the room, pulling Isabelle behind him.  
"Look who just came in," He said to no one in particular. "Someone has been out all night with a certain daylighter friend... or should I say, daylighter loverboy?"  
Isabelle shot Jace a dark look. "Shut up Jace. My affairs and how I spend my time are none of your concern." She snapped back.  
Jace shrugged his shoulders and went to sit next to Clary. He took a bite out of her toast before turning to Alec. "Hey, I thought you were at Magnus's?"  
Alec looked up. Clary could see his fragile composure break slightly as he searched for an answer. As always, Jace was not always as in tune to Alec's sensitive feelings as both Clary and Isabelle. Despite being his _parabatai, _Jace could only read and predict his partners battle movements and techniques with ease. Alec's emotional turmoil – not so much.  
"I- um," clearly not anticipating Jace's question, Alec spluttered, "He's not here in New York... at the moment. He has – um, yeah." That was all Alec said before he looked at his hands in his lap. Clary noticed they were shaking slightly. "I need to go for a run." Was all he got out before he choked on his words. Using his excuse as a self dismissal, he rose from his chair. It dragged in protest along the ground as he dumped his plate in the sink and practically ran from the room.

It was Jace who spoke first. "What is wrong with him? Did he get scared when Chairman Meow scratched him last week?"  
"Jace," Izzy muttered, clearly annoyed at her brothers obviousness. "I don't think that was a scratch from Chairman Meow, you of all people know that. He has been going out hunting by himself alot..." Izzy's heels clicked on the floor – she was still dressed in her clothes from the night before – and grabbed an apple out of the fruit bowl which was sitting on the counter. She took a bite and clucked her tongue dismissively at Jace._ Boys_. "I hope you do well today Clary. I think my mum is finally ready to start paying attention to your abilities. Between everything with the Clave and my father-" at that she looked purposefully at the ground, before bringing her gaze back to Clary's "All I'm saying is, I think you're underestimating yourself. You are getting good. As much as I disapprove of your teacher-" a deliberate glance at Jace, "you might make a better Shadowhunter than me when the time comes. Mum just needs to see you in action. Speaking of mum, I need to find her. Simon has some questions about fixing things with his mum. She seems pretty crazy..." At that, she smiled at Clary before leaving the room. Her heels clicking as she went.

Jace turned in his chair to face Clary. "You know, I could make you some eggs for breakfast. You're going to need more protein than that." He gestured to her toast.  
Clary shrugged, remembering when she had to tell Jace she wasn't a particular fan of the commonly eaten food. He had thought she was joking for the first few days...


	3. Chapter 3 - A Raised Battle

**The Mortal Instruments – FanFiction**

**Training Days...**

**Chapter 3 – A Raised Battle**

Now fully prepared for training, Clary headed up to the training room. The high beams suspended from the ceiling were still in place and there were still soft mats on the floor. Jace had stopped by the weapons room already and had brought up her favourite – the seraph blade. She smiled in satisfaction before she began to warm up. Sparring with Jace was a gruelling challenge for all Shadowhunters, yet alone Clary with minimal experience. Already marked up with the runes she thought she would need, she did her usual stretches before climbing up to the beams. Clary had confidence on the beams now, not even bothering to put on a harness – she wouldn't fall. There was a length of rope that dangled from the high ceiling at the end of the beams. She could use that to climb down afterward. Walking along the first few beams were fine. She did a couple of spins, jumped back and forth from one to the other. Pushing herself, she even practiced dangling off the beam – fingertips gripping the edges – and pulling herself back up. Being so light, her arms were easily able to pull her own body weight back up onto the beam. She was halfway along the beams when she heard the door to the training room open. In walked Jace, who glanced up and saw her. Smiling to himself, he grabbed two seraph blades before running over to climb up to the suspended beams.

Meeting her halfway – neither with safety harnesses – Jace passed her a seraph blade. At the same time they each muttered the name of their blades and they came to life.  
Jace, with a glint of excitement in his eyes, asked; "Are you ready? Warmed up?" He trailed his eyes over Clary with a satisfied smile. He tried to cover his smile and pulled an expression of deep analysation – like he was predicting her first move. When really, she knew better. He was momentarily distracted by the exposed bare skin above her hips -her shirt had risen from reaching up. He watched her with intent. She knew he would want her to make the first move.

As quickly as she could, Clary lashed out. Knowing, that although he was in a momentary daze he could still deflect anything that came his way. Their blades connected straight away with a distinguishable sound. Like the sound of two glasses clinking together with an incredible force. The battle had began. Both nephilim felt their blood burn as it became alive under their skin. The adrenaline from battle beginning to force its way into their veins. For Jace, this was what he lived for. For Clary, it was almost like a significant high. Her blood sang and vibrated in her body. She was able to see everything around her. Despite it only being training, her body went into survival mode and she felt powerful. She lunged forward again, skilfully leaping onto the same suspended beam as Jace. Another clash echoed throughout the high ceiling room.

**Jace's POV –**

Jace held nothing back when he sparred with Clary anymore. Although he didn't want to control Clary's life, he didn't always like to know she could be in the eye of danger either. To put his mind at ease, Jace found it easier to go out full force onto Clary, so that she would develop extreme skills. By facing Jace's best, he knew she could never meet an enemy or demon that could defeat her. With each – surprisingly forceful – blow, Jace became more and more conscious of Clary's next move. Part of being a Shadowhunter was anticipating the enemies moves before your own. Applying all his skill, he could see where her next lunge at him would be.

Although they were training, hurting themselves was still a possibility. Clary refused to train with wooden swords. She didn't want to belittle herself. Jace knew she was a big girl. She could handle herself. She had told him that she wanted to use real seraph blades. He told her that she could get seriously hurt - she knew the potential possibilities. She muttered words about using _iratzes_, and refused to believe Jace when he said she was better off preventing the harm that could come to her, rather than simply fixing it with an iratze. Jace knew she wanted to be a Shadowhunter and that she would put herself through a lot of paint to get there. Knowing Clary like he did, she wasn't going to change her mind now that it was set. That was how they had reached this point. Both sparring with seraph blades. Lunging, deflecting and parrying at each other. Wanting to show off to Clary, Jace threw his body into the air and did a forward flip onto the opposing beam. For a moment, Jace saw the desire in Clary's eyes to follow suit. She looked down hesitantly, suddenly weighing her options, before deciding that maybe copying Jace wasn't such a good idea. Jace laughed at her expression. Oh, how he enjoyed the freedom to be himself around her.

Still determined to follow after him, Clary jumped onto his beam. He could see from her expression that she was slightly put out that she couldn't do anything as skilful as a forward flip. Once again their blades met and they began their melodic tango of footwork as they lunged and parried. When he least expected it, Clary swung out her foot and knocked him off his feet. He was momentarily stunned, before his body reflexively grabbed onto the edges of the suspended beam. Swinging his legs to the left, he was able to create enough momentum to swing himself back up smoothly onto the beam. Clary flashed him a quick grin before she took off. She was headed towards the rope that dangled at the end of the beams to get down. Picking his seraph blade up off the beam – which had fallen from his grasp as he grabbed the ledge to stop himself from falling. Jumping, leaping and swinging on the beams after her. By the time he had reached the rope, Clary was already at the bottom. With a cheeky wave she walked over to the mats, waiting for him. It was almost an unconscious action for him to jump off the edge with no hesitation. His hands instinctively reached for the rope. Almost as if his hands were magnetised and drawn to it. Once again he swung his body weight using his legs for momentum before flinging his body down. He had nothing to fear. He was a strong Shadowhunter. Heights did not scare him, especially with the comforting protection of his runes. The thought of hitting the ground wrong never crossed his mind as he landed in a crouched stance, his body used to the jolting impact of contact with the floor.

He ran over to Clary on the mats and swung his blade high, knocking Clary's from her grasp. It landed a few meters away, its colour fading slightly without the touch of a nephilim. With her mouth open in sudden shock, Jace took that opportunity to close the distance between them. He went in to kiss her. His body still pumping full of adrenaline heightened his urges and enhanced his senses. Suddenly, all he could think of was Clary. He dropped his seraph blade and wrapped his arms around her, deepening their kiss. They were suddenly all tongues and heat until Clary, taking advantage of his male urges, grabbed his hand with strong force and turned his wrist back. Jace cried out; more in surprise than pain, as she then skilfully managed to pull his arm, bend it and press it against his back. Clary had never done this to him before. She had only ever done so much as nicked him once or twice with a blade. As he always did, he completely enjoyed it when someone had the ability to take him down. He hardly ever met an opponent who challenged him. Yet somehow, his small Clary, who was so petite, slim and fragile, had used a hold on him and taken him down. He turned his head and caught her gaze, appreciation gleamed in his eyes.

"If you're wondering where I learnt this," She put pressure on his arm that was pulled back, "Let's just say that you aren't the only one interested in teaching me."  
Jace laughed, it was a bright and happy sound. He knew where she had learnt this. Only one other person could use this on him and get away with it. _His sister_. "Since when has Izzy taken an interest in training you?"  
In response, Clary said, "Since she realised I have developed the skills to take you down. I think she is getting some sick enjoyment out of watching me beat you..."


	4. Chapter 4 - Unfair Circumstances

**The Mortal Instruments – FanFiction**

**Training Days...**

**Chapter 4 – Unfair Circumstances**

Clary had to admit, although she had managed to use the hold Izzy had taught her, she was surprised it had even worked. Jace was far beyond her skills in training. Clary would have been surprised if Jace didn't know how to get out from this hold. Almost as if he heard her thoughts, with a quick flourish of his body, Jace was able to pull his arm out of Clary's grasp. She saw his victorious smile before he then rolled on top of Clary, using his full body weight to prevent her from fighting back. She squirmed underneath him and she felt his laughter shake his body. Momentarily biting on her lip, Clary's mind raced as to how she could get out from underneath him. She pushed her arms out to the side, trying to come into contact with anything that could have helped her. When she came up with nothing, she used the only thing she could think of. Clary lifted her head up, making it look like she was going to go in for a kiss, before moving to the left and biting Jace's shoulder. It had the desired effect. Jace was just as stunned as Clary as he rolled off of her. Both jumped to their feet, knowing that it was safer in Shadowhunter combat to always be standing up. They locked gazes.  
"Well there is a move you don't see everyday..." Jace muttered under his breath. "I thought you would go in for the irresistible kiss, it seems to be your preferred defensive technique against me."  
Clary laughed, "Well, I don't think I would be kissing any demons. I just need some help when someone substantially bigger," she gestured with her hand, waving it up and down the size of Jace's body. "I may be stronger now, but I still can't throw you off."  
"Here," was all Jace said, before he wrapped his arms tenderly around her tiny frame. It was his attempt at comfort. Clary sighed and leaned into the embrace.  
"You need to show me so more moves to get out of those situations Jace." She met his eyes, and he nodded. He let go and sat down, crossing his long legs – gesturing for Clary to copy.  
"Okay, well first, lets go back over what directions your attackers could come from..."

It was around mid-day when Maryse Lightwood came up to the training room. Clary looked up from her sit ups, her eyes following Maryse's, as she gazed at her son. Jace was in his own world as he was absent mindedly throwing his small dagger in the air and catching it by the handle. It was an unconscious habit; he had to always be constantly moving. Jace could only watch Clary do sit ups for so long. Clary noticed the loving look in Maryse's eyes, she too loved her son and understood his small idiosyncrasies.  
"Jace," Maryse said, "I suggest you go down to the weapons room. Alec and Isabelle are already there. There was a demonic disturbance out north of Central Park." Jace looked at Clary, a question in his eyes. "No, Jace, you know Clary isn't allowed to go. Part of the agreement between Jocelyn and myself was that she was to remain here during such circumstances. You know she will not be allowed to fight until I grant my approval of her skills."  
"Well," Jace replied, "Mum, it's not like you have seen Clary train recently. She is so much better. Maybe some real life circumstances would do her some good, we can't shelter her forever."  
Maryse turned her gaze to Clary, who was still lying on the floor. "Despite her exceeding abilities, you know how I feel about this Jace."  
"But Mum, she has faced Valentine. She has thought off against Sebastian of all people! Do not dismiss her so lightly!"  
Maryse regained her composure; she was still adamant to reframe Clary from being exposed to real demons. Of course, Clary knew her mother, Jocelyn was behind this stupid restriction.  
"Jace, there isn't time for this. Go join your brother and sister. Clary will stay here, as agreed between Jocelyn and Myself."  
Jace walked toward Clary – avoiding his mother's gaze. He kneeled down and kissed her lightly on the lips. "Don't worry about me. I'll be back before dinner, I promise." The sincerity in his eyes almost made Clary believe him, but she could not promise to not worry about him. She nodded, no words coming from her mouth. He stroked her cheek with his hand before standing up and stalking out of the training room, clearly somewhat irritable about Clary not being allowed to join him and his siblings.

Clary was about to say something to Maryse about this arrangement, when she half smiled at Clary and followed after Jace. Her heels clicking on the floor after her. Feeling somewhat confused, Clary got up and went to pack up the mats still on the floor. Maryse was so serious about the agreement made between her and her mother. It was almost quite rude the way Maryse enforced her authority like that on Clary. Clary thought she had been getting somewhere with Maryse, finally earning some respect after the whole incident with Sebastian. Clearly Maryse still had unknown issues with Clary.

After Jace, Alec and Isabelle had left the institute, Clary went to her room to shower. She stood under the hot water, loving how it eased the knots in her back. Her mind consistently wandering to Jace, wondering if he was okay. He was beyond capable of taking care of himself, but what could she do? She loved him too much. Shutting off the water, Clary stepped out the shower and got dressed. Still with wet hair, she ventured out of her room to the library. Her one place of mental sanctuary when Jace was out fighting evil. She knew she could fight. She could look after herself. But, once again, she was left alone.

Grabbing her favourite book, Clary dumped herself into a weathered chair by the window, and immersed herself into the powerful words of her book. Her only distraction as her mind raced, still hoping that Jace was going to return to her...


	5. Chapter 5 - A Lonely Place

**The Mortal Instruments – FanFiction**

**Training Days...**

**Chapter 5 – A Lonely Place**

It was when the sun had finally set that Clary gave up on trying to read her book. She checked her phone – not for the first time – still no messages or calls. Surely Jace would have contacted her? Worry was building in her stomach - they had been gone for ages now.

Clary found herself wandering down the corridors of the institute aimlessly, her mind preoccupied. _Jace was fine. Jace was fine. _In some ways, it felt kind of selfish on Clary's behalf to only be worrying about Jace. She was concerned for Alec and Izzy as well, but she knew that Jace would do anything to protect them and to return them home safely. If they had gotten into trouble, Jace would put either of his siblings' lives before his own. When it came to the survival of others he loved, Jace had no self preservation. It sometimes upset Clary that Jace did that. Although it was an incredibly noble attribute to have, Clary didn't like the unease feeling it gave her. _Selfish. _She thought to herself as she regained conscious control of her feet.

She went into the kitchen. Despite her stomach feeling tied up, she knew she needed to eat something. Her training did take so much out of her body. She often found that she could fall asleep anywhere afterwards; and was definitely sore the next day. Rummaging through the fridge, Clary found left over spaghetti. It was full of carbohydrates and her body needed the energy. Clary shrugged, almost as if she was justifying her decision to herself. At the moment, it was only Clary, Maryse and Church the cat in the institute. Clary wasn't sure where Maryse was, but she knew that she would not cook just for Clary; she probably had more pressing matters to deal with. With a deep sigh, Clary heated up the food and ate by herself. It was quite depressing sitting by herself. Normally, the dinner table was full of chatter, as Jace, Alec and Isabelle all fought amongst each other. It was beautiful to Clary to watch sibling rivalry. If Jace took too big a serving, Isabelle made sure Jace knew how she felt and voiced her opinion. If Isabelle cooked dinner, Jace made sure she knew how bad she could cook. Clary missed that. The petty banter of family. It happened to everyone. Absently, she pushed the spaghetti around in the bowl with her fork. Her sudden overwhelming homesickness for her mum and Luke was debilitating.

Giving up eating, Clary emptied the rest of the food into the bin; washing her bowl and leaving it to dry. She was out in the hallway again, this time headed towards Jace's room. His room always provided some refuge to a hard day of training; except he was usually in the room with her. Maryse had promised Jocelyn that Clary and Jace would sleep in separate rooms, upon the terms of agreement for Clary to live at the institute. They followed the rules most nights, but Clary always found herself getting up during the night - using a silencing rune on herself - and walking to Jace's room. Sometimes, it was almost as if Jace was expecting her. He would open his arms for her and she would crawl in gratefully. It wasn't as if they did anything bad. They both just craved the comfort of the other. Jace kept away Clary's nightmares about Sebastian. They were a rare thing for her, but the safety Clary felt being in Jace's arms was better than any rune or potion to help her sleep.

Once she was inside the familiar room, she shut the door behind her. Everything was in its usual place. The plain bed was made to perfection – the shelves and furniture in the room all eliminated of dust. _Oh Jace,_ Clary thought, _you never change. _Smiling to herself, Clary ran her hand along the desk in his room before heading toward the window. She looked out; down towards the direction she knew the entrance of the institute would be. Almost willing Jace and his siblings to walk up the steps; to return home. Sighing, Clary looked up at the twinkling lights of New York - Jace definitely had the best view. Turning around, Clary headed towards Jace's bed. She pulled up the covers – tugging quite hard, because Jace tucked the ends of his sheets so tightly under the mattress. Clary then tugged off her jeans and deposited them on the floor. Grabbing one of Jace's t-shirts - folded perfectly in his cupboard – she pulled hers off and slipped his over her head. Now that she was comfortable, she laid down and pulled the covers around herself.

Moving to Jace's side of the bed, Clary let the familiar smells of Jace swirl around her as her mind wandered. She relived events of today – her mind spinning frantically. She mentally replayed the memory of her and Jace in the training room, when he had promised her that he would return before dinner. Clary bit down on her lip. Not knowing what else to do, she pulled one of the pillows free from under her head and wrapped her arms around it – pulling it close. She repeated her mental chant from earlier, _Jace was fine. Jace was fine. _Curling her body into the fetal position, Clary closed her eyes and let sleep consume her. Sometimes, the institute could be a lonely place.


	6. Chapter 6 - Impossibility

**The Mortal Instruments – FanFiction**

**Training Days...**

**Chapter 6 – Impossibility**

Jace had fended off several Dehak demons as they investigated the area. It wasn't far from Central Park, the demons obviously knew where they could remain safely hidden... or so they thought. The sun was beginning to set as Jace was caught off guard. It was a rare thing to catch a Shadowhunter who was not prepared – especially Jace. His mind had been wandering, distracted with the thought of Clary. He had broken his promise. He had said he would be back before dinner. _Before dinner, yeah right._ He thought as he spun around, temporarily using his back as a shield from the last of the demon's tentacles that were trying to grip at his arm. Suddenly conscious he had only one last seraph blade, Jace doubled back toward his siblings, shortening the distance between them. Both Izzy and Alec were strong fighters, but neither of them were game enough to take on so many at one time. They had been fending off the weaker demons. Although Alec was Jace's _parabatai_, Alec and Izzy worked as a flawless team. The same blood flowed through their veins, and with that, similar thinking patterns. In a way, it was like the three of them were linked, Jace was linked to Alec as _parabatai_ and Alec linked to Izzy with blood. With Alec being the oldest, it made sense that he should be the combining link, after all – he was supposed to be the leader.

Once the three siblings had disposed of all the traces from their battle, they prepared to leave. It was only as Alec ran his sensor over the scene one last time did he say, "That's funny, it says we missed one..."  
Isabelle scoffed. "Well obviously we didn't. Give it here Alec, you clearly can't even handle using a sensor anymore." She snatched the sensor from his grasp. Alec shot her a dark look, he wasn't in the mood. Izzy scanned the area, a furrow suddenly appearing between her perfectly shaped eyebrows. "Jace..." Isabelle called softly, suddenly unsure herself what was happening. Jace picked up his small dagger from the ground and pocketed it. He then headed over to Alec and Isabelle.  
"Mmm. What happened?" He eyed off the sensory wearily. Taking it from his sisters grasp, Jace held it high, as if it would somehow help.  
"It must be faulty." Isabelle stated, "Surely it has just become too old, it can't tell a demon from a Shadowhunter existence anymore."  
Copying his sister, Jace's eyebrows furrowed together. "It can't be wrong, these types of things don't malfunction. The Iron Sisters ensure these things don't happen. It is an impossibility."

_A demonic disturbance. _That was what his mum had called it. Jace looked down at his feet, before trailing his gaze back up to meet Alec's. None of them knew what to do. Alec, being the oldest was expected to take charge, despite his somewhat introverted persona at times. "Follow it." Was all he said as he gestured toward the sensor with his chin. Following the direction indicated, Jace pulled out his seraph blade - spoke its name and raised it cautiously. Izzy raised her whip, suddenly insecure.

"This is unusual," Jace muttered. "It is something I have never seen before. The sensor, it's picking up a demonic trace, not a demonic presence." Izzy looked at Jace questioningly. "I haven't seen anything like this before Iz. It is picking up that a demon has been here, but that it was a human being as well..." The sensor lead the three siblings towards an usual tree with three trunks sprouting from the same base. It was a rare sight, most trees in and near Central Park were not like this one. "The trace, the sensor says it was here. It's picking up a live signal, like it was here a short time before us..."  
"What?" Alec muttered, grabbing the device from Jace's hands. "That makes no sense, how can something have been here, alive, in front of us." He gestured with one hand. "I for one, did not see anything of demonic nature around us when we first arrived. We found those demons; we practically had to drag them from their hiding places. There were definitely no mundanes around. It is faulty. A one in one million chance. Jace, the sensor is broken."  
It was Izzy who spoke first, "I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss this Alec. Look, the sensor is picking up that demonic as well as human matter was here from before. Whatever it was, it was here when we got here..." A visible chill went down her spine.  
"Come on," Alec said. He still held the sensor, using it to guide him to a patch of dirt indicating contamination from the mysterious being. He wiped the remaining half dried ichor from his fingers onto his pants, before he then collected a small sample of dirt, depositing it into his pocket. "Whatever is happening here, I think we ought to take this matter to the Silent Brothers, this is fair beyond our skill."

The sun had finally set as Jace and his siblings entered the Silent City. With its usual dark demeanour, neither of them were surprised when a Brother appeared silently from the sinister shadows_. _

_I know why you have come, young Nephilim._ His voice echoed through each of their heads. _Please, hand me both the sample and the sensor. _Getting straight to the point the Brother continued,_ You assume correctly, the Iron Sisters do not create Shadowhunter instruments that simply fade with age. _As if the Brother floated on water, he approached Jace and Alec, his long fingers wrapping around both of his requests as they were handed to him. Clearly the three siblings had underestimated the power and value of the information they had just obtained, for the Silent Brother almost called out with distress - dropping both the sample of dirt and the sensor. From underneath his hood, the Brother looked genuinely anxious. _Another first_, Jace thought as he watched the Brother recollect his composure.

_Do you know what you have found young Lightwoods? This has never happened in all the years since Raziel first appeared from Lake Lyn by Jonathan Shadowhunter. Long has it been feared by those who live more than a human life._  
"What is it then?" Jace asked, both his siblings clearly in some state of shock.  
_It is unforseen by those, even with expertise as ours. The matter is alive with death.  
_"It is what now?" Izzy stated, "Um, that is somewhat impossible."  
_It is not impossible if the demon has been in contact with dark magic. Your sensor singled out the contaminated soil because it was touched by something that is part demon, part human. It is a scent, if you will, left behind by the demonic living creature. It has been given life back on this earth. It is the trace of a living person with demon blood, re-granted life not from God, but from the pits of Hell itself._  
Certain words stuck in Jace's mind as he tried to string together what the Brother was saying. _Contact with dark magic... part demon, part human... given life back on this earth... life not from God. _"By the Angel," Jace muttered, piecing together the cryptic puzzle. He grabbed Alec's arm with extreme force. "Alec! Who do we know who has demon blood? Who was cast into the fiery pits of Hell before our family?" Realisation dawned on Alec, the idea seemed foolish to him.  
Looking like he had been slapped in the face, Alec whispered quietly, "...Sebastian? No. That is impossible. The bond between his life and yours was severed. He died when Clary stabbed you." He trailed off, looking at the Silent Brother. "Sebas- I mean, Jonathan Morgenstern died right?" Alec's voice suddenly unsure, as if he was questioning himself.

_I did not expect you to know young Lightwood. Your mother may have hidden from you more than you know about what really happened to Jonathan Morgenstern. After his bond was severed from Jace's body, a part of him did die. The demonic abilities within him were cast to the pits of Hell. Jonathan survived the severance, but he was weak. His demonic blood removed from his body by the blessed sword... It appears, however impossible, that somehow that the demonic part of him has been returned to his living body._

Jace swallowed back bile. _Sebastian had been alive this whole time? _It had also become too much for Isabelle. She looked at down at her boots which were still covered in ichor.

_No such greater demon has the power to do this. It is the work by the highest of demons himself. It appears that Valentine's son is well and truly alive. With that, the demonic presence within his blood that Miss Fray destroyed - when she severed the bond between Jace and Jonathan Morgenstern - flows deep within him again. It has been re-granted life back within his soul from the pits of Hell to which it was banished._

"So, now assuming that Sebastian is alive; which no one considered notifying us about- "Izzy retorted, clearly annoyed about her mother for not telling her the truth. "We are supposed to assume that Sebastian's demonic power was banished to the pits of Hell when Clary stabbed Jace, never to be heard of again. But, since the sensor picked up traces of Sebastian being near Central Park, we are supposed to believe that, somewhere, somehow, he has been helped by somebody from the underworld; who was able to give Sebastian back his power, to which was promised to be banished forever. Who would have such a power to do that? To grant Sebastian's demon blood back into his body against the wishes of Heaven?" Isabelle asked. Somehow, she already knew the answer.  
There was only one who had the power equalling of God's to re-grant Sebastian his banished demon blood. To return to Sebastian his power that Clary, Jace and his siblings had tried so hard to destroy. The words echoed in all three of the Lightwood childrens' heads_. It is the work by the highest of demons himself... Lucifer. _

Somewhat confused by the events of that evening, Jace and his siblings headed back to the institute. Anxiously, Jace lead the group. He needed to see Clary. If what the Brother had said was true, Sebastian was on the loose. This was still an impossible thought that had wormed its way through Jace's brain. A pounding headache developed as he continued to madly plan what to do next. It was already midnight as the three siblings were almost by the familiar entrance of the institute.

"Jace, stop." It was Alec, a few paces behind. "We need a plan. It is past midnight, we can't just go barging into the institute, screaming to high Heaven that Sebastian is back. We still are not one hundred percent sure of this until we clarify with mum. If she admits to not telling us what Sebastian had left in her office after we thought Sebastian had died, then we need notify the Clave about what we found."  
"Well we need to tell mum... and _Clary_" Izzy replied, still anxiously studying their surroundings – clearly somewhat paranoid.  
"I do not plan to tell Clary. _No way_." Jace answered, determined to protect her. "She won't handle it well. Let alone the fact that Sebastian wants _her_. That incestuous demon. He is _sick_ Izzy, I won't put Clary through this – not again."  
Alec put a hand on Jace's arm. Trying to be sympathetic, "Jace, I don't think we will get a choice here."  
"You don't understand Alec, Clary is my world. Sebastian is here, in New York! I will not let him come within ten kilometres of her." Jace countered.  
Alec sighed, he did understand, he was thinking of the someone who was his world as he replied; "Fine. Jace, find Clary. See if she is okay, only tell her tonight if need be. But she will find out, most likely tomorrow anyway. But, at the moment, we have more important things. Izzy, come with me. We will go find mum, she needs to tell us the truth, then to notify the Clave of our findings. Then, we all need to go to bed. Sleep, the safety of others and finding Sebastian are our top priority right now."

**Just in case anyone is confused or needs clarification, Sebastian is alive. Maryse never told Jace, Alec or Isabelle about the letter Sebastian left to her in her office. ****Not mentioned in story -****Sebastian was in the area near Central Park – possibly because of the Dehak demons (will not give away any hints) when Jace, Alec and Izzy arrived. Sebastian hid from view until they found the Dehak demons' hiding place before he then left. As everyone has their own distinct scent, Sebastian left his when he was hiding by huddling against the tree and running his hands anxiously through the dirt.**** The sensor picked up that he was there – displaying that it had singled out both demon and human traces. When Jace was stabbed, Sebastian's demon blood was extracted from his body and banished to Hell by the blessed sword. ****Not mentioned in story - Using his dark contacts, Sebastian was able to conjure up many deals with other greater demons before finally making a deal with Satan himself (who is the only one capable to go against God and Raziel's power), to which his demon blood was returned to him and he is now back to full power. **


	7. Chapter 7 - Sudden Pertinacity

**The Mortal Instruments – FanFiction**

**Training Days...**

**Chapter 7 – Sudden Pertinacity**

Once inside the Institute, Jace went his own way. He needed to find Clary – he was suddenly unsure for her safety. Jace of all people knew that Sebastian could come inside the institute. After all, it was Sebastian who brought them here when they were bonded. Going to the most obvious place first, Jace checked Clary's bedroom. He pushed open the familiar door and peered in, the room was dark. _She wasn't there_. He was momentarily stunned, his mind running a mile a minute as he thought that Sebastian had already taken her_. No, he isn't like that... _Jace thought, trying to calm his sudden nerves. It wasn't his style to just grab Clary and run. If Sebastian had a plan to get her, he would draw her out of the institute first.

Suddenly plagued with a serious concern, Jace went to the training room. It seemed absurd to him, but when he couldn't sleep, he would often go to the training room. Maybe she was there now. The training room was tidy and dark. No sign of Clary. _The kitchen_, he thought next. If she had nightmares, she always got up and would have a glass of warm milk to help her calm down. The lights were still on in the kitchen, a recently washed bowl drying on the rack by the sink. At least that was one good sign. A soft purr alerted Jace to Church the cat's presence. He was curled under one of the dining chairs, before he got up and arched his back. "Church." Jace half whispered, "Where is Clary?"

The cat meowed in response, weaving his body through Jace's legs before pattering off out the door – expecting Jace to follow. It was weird, why was Church headed in the direction to his room? Maybe she had had nightmares? Clary often slept with him – despite it being against his mum's wishes. It made sense now; she was in his room and probably asleep in his bed. Jace was momentarily comforted. _She was safe_. Church sat outside his door. As if trying to indicate that Clary was inside. After stroking the cat behind the ears in appreciation, Jace went inside, closing the door behind him.

It took a few moments for Jace's eyes to adjust – despite his perfect vision and darkness sight runes. He saw Clary curled up with his blankets tangled at her feet. The innocent sight before him touched Jace's heart. Clary was his one weakness. Never had he seen a more beautiful sight. It was these thoughts that gave him the resolve he needed. He had to tell her. She was small and fragile, but she could protect herself now. Jace always had to remind himself. She needed to know about Sebastian. Somehow he would have to work up the courage. Jace removed his weapons belt and still fully dressed, laid down beside Clary with a sigh of relief. The one thing he was determined to protect with everything at his disposal. She was his life and nothing would break him more than if she was hurt.

* * *

Clary was not sure what time it was when she felt the familiar weight of someone else on the mattress beside her. Clary heard a sigh of relief. Her eyes darted open and the blankets were twisted at her feet – as always – but that didn't stop her from rolling over. Lying beside her, his expression relieved, was Jace.  
"Clary..." Jace whispered. His voice as soft as a silk on the surface. Clary thought she must still be groggy from sleep. She thought she heard a trace of anxiousness in his voice.  
Ignoring her thoughts, Clary's sense of longing for him poured out in a single word, "Jace..." Clary whispered back. He reached for her, his hands cupped her face.  
"By the angel, I didn't know where you were... We only just got back. I went looking for you straight away." Jace's voice became suddenly frantic. "I went and checked your bedroom – but you weren't there. I got worried. I checked everywhere. Little did I know, you were curled up in the last place I thought to find you." He smiled with an unusual edge and gently tucked her crazy bed hair behind her ear. Jace looked at Clary's choice of bed attire, raising his eyebrow. "I see you found my shirt..."  
"I missed you," Clary murmured. She leaned in and kissed Jace lightly on the lips. The inside of his bottom lip moist and comforting. Their kiss lasted for a second before Jace broke away. A sudden hesitation or caution flickered in his eyes. Clary wasn't sure, but something was off. Clary moaned in protest, pretending not to notice.  
Jace gestured to his torso. "I need to take a shower, I'm all dirty. I don't want to stain my sheets." He leaned in and kissed Clary's forehead. "I'll be back in a second." He almost seemed desperate to be getting up and moving around. He threw his feet off the bed and ripped his dirty shirt off with unnecessary haste, before walking over to the bathroom. He only half closed the door, he and Clary had nothing to hide from each other. Or so Clary had thought until that moment.

It was weird. Clary hadn't seen that look in Jace's eyes for a long time. He had nothing to fear. _Nothing to hide._ So why did he pull away from her kiss? He never did that. It was only the smallest thing, Jace seemed to have only the slightest edge to his manor. Years of Shadowhunter training with his father had perfected his skills, he could mask his emotions well. Clary's mind ticked over as she heard the familiar sound of rushing water come from the bathroom. _Maybe something happened while he was out today? _Clary wondered as she sat up. Sometimes with Jace, it was the smallest of things about his behaviour that indicated something was wrong. Something was _off_.

When Jace came back into the room, he had changed into a pair of grey sleeping pants without a shirt. As Jace approached the bed to lie down, he caught Clary's eye. She was looking at him suspiciously.  
"Clary? What's wrong with you?"  
"I was about to ask you the same question." Jace laid down beside her, holding her small hands in his own larger ones. "You are good at hiding things from people Jace, but you forget that I can read you like a book."  
"No you can't." Jace said a little too sharply. She knew she was onto him. Jace looked down and sighed, almost as if in reluctance. With resolve he replied, "You're right. There is something... um, something has happened" Again, Clary saw the hesitation in his eyes, his body was suddenly tense.  
"What happened?" Clary muttered, mostly out of frustration that he was hiding something. They didn't do that to each other. Feeling as if she was in a dark room trying to find a light switch, Clary fumbled around for answers. "Is someone hurt? Jace you can't just protect me from that. I know something happened! I just don't know what..." She leaned in close to him, their eyes locking, noses almost touching.  
Jace did something very uncharacteristic of himself. He bit down on his lip. Almost as if he was weighing his options. Mentally debating something. But still, he said nothing.  
"Jace..." Still nothing. "Jace." Clary ripped her hands from his grip. "What on earth is this ab- "  
"I have something serious to tell you Clary." Jace interrupted her. His golden eyes a solid colour as they bore into hers. He was completely serious. "I don't know how you will take it."

This time it was Clary's turn to say nothing.

"While we were gone...we, um." Jace was hardly ever lost for words. "We, er- we picked up something. It was an unusual demonic trace, part demon, part human. We thought the sensor had broken, it displayed that the unusual demon had been where we were fighting before we arrived. This kind of thing has never happened, the matter was alive... but dead." Jace reached for Clary's hand. It looked like he needed something to anchor him to the bed. "Alec took a sample of the matter and we went to the Silent Brothers. I tried to convince Alec and Izzy that we shouldn't say anything to you. But, then again, you would just find out tomorrow. This is something too big to conceal. This... _thing_. The only way its presence is here on earth is by dark magic. It is a person who's demonic blood _flows deep within him again. _It has been re-granted life back within his soul from the pits of Hell. The Silent Brother believed that a deal was made with Lucifer... We don't know what it was... or how _he_ did it...It was unnatural..." He tensed. "At first we still didn't understand. After all, he died... by your hand." Jace's eyebrows furrowed, creating deep lines of stress in his forehead as he continued. Jace swallowed the lump in his throat. "Clary... It was Sebastian. He's back."


	8. Chapter 8 - Is Ignorance Always Bliss?

**The Mortal Instruments – FanFiction**

**Training Days...**

**Chapter 8 – Is Ignorance Always Bliss?**

As would be expected, Clary didn't sleep that night. At first, she was in complete disbelief. _No, that is impossible_, she thought. It was as the seriousness of the situation sunk in that Clary went through several stages of shock. Jace held her in his arms tightly like a vice, but it still wasn't hard enough to stop her from feeling like her body was crumbling to pieces. Panic for not only herself, but for the ones she loved flowed through her veins. She would do anything for those she loved, but she wished that they would not do the same for her. She did not anyone to die for her. Clary knew Jace reciprocated her thoughts. Clary would happily throw herself in the face danger to save Jace; she just wished he would not do the same for her. She had already watched him die once by the shores of Lake Lyn. She had stabbed him with her intent to kill Sebastian a few months ago. The thought of watching Jace die before her eyes again dug up another round of hysteria as she imagined the debilitating heartbreak. If he ever died trying to save her, it would end her completely.

Jace held Clary for a long time. He pleaded with her to calm down. Clary knew he felt useless. She had now become somewhat emotionally stable now and her breathing had returned to a more regular rhythm. Light tears trailed down her face as she thought of her mother, Luke and Simon, the Lightwoods and Jace. They were all her family now.

Jace kissed her cheeks where the tears had fallen. With each tear, Clary's mind settled into a more rational state of thinking. Hysterics would not get her anywhere. Her mind felt split in half. Jace tried to coax Clary into trying to sleep. He whispered comforting words in her ear; almost pleading for her to mentally shield herself with unconsciousness. He told her that the sooner she fell asleep, the quicker the morning would come and then they could plan what the next move was. Although he never said so, Clary knew Jace wanted her to go to sleep partly because he couldn't bear watching her break apart, but he also wanted to go talk to his mother and siblings. After summoning up enough mental courage to be left alone by herself, Clary pretended to drift to sleep, she didn't want to put Jace through this. Soon after that, she felt Jace unwind his arms from around her and get up – softly, trying to not jostle the bed too much. He padded quietly to the door and slipped out.

Clary was now alone in the darkness. Her mind wandered aimlessly as she remembered the fight between Sebastian and herself in their Father's apartment a few months before. He truly was terrifying. The way Sebastian looked at her made her stomach churn. A dark cloud loomed over Clary as she thought about leaving possibly the institute, she thought she wasn't safe there. But then again, where could she go? Jace would not leave her side knowing her life was in danger. The only reason why he was gone now, was because he needed confirmation about Sebastian from his mother. Clary rolled over, her concern for Jace was her highest priority. Without Jace's arms around her, Clary felt her heart break into tiny pieces. She would never tell anyone how truly terrified she was. She needed to be strong, if not for her own sake, then for the ones she loved. Clary knew she would have to be able to handle this.

* * *

It was around two-thirty when Jace returned to Clary in his room. Clary was still awake – lost in her thoughts - as she felt him sit on the bed – leaning his back against the headboard. He sat there for a long time, staring into nothingness. Clary knew what had happened. Jace's actions spoke of every word said between him and his mother. Sebastian had well and truly returned. Clary's body was facing away from him, but that didn't stop her from reaching back with her hand to grasp his. Jace's hands were cold, like his body was drained of life by his fear of losing her. He gave her hand a momentary squeeze, letting her know he knew she was awake. They both remained in their positions, each in an emotional state of shock. Both their minds buzzed with panic, anxiety and for Clary, a genuine terror. Neither of them slept. Time was always passing. For them it was no exception, as eventually the first rays of light began to pour in through the window. It was only when the sun had began to rise, did either of them stir.

* * *

Clary and Jace walked hand in hand to the Library. Exhaustion plagued their thoughts and bodies as neither of them refused to let go of the other. Both Clary and Jace found great comfort with their hands entwined, it indicated that their significant other was safe. Once inside the library, Clary saw Maryse standing in front of the fire. She was, as always, dressed impeccably. Clary swore the woman never slept. Both Alec and Isabelle joined them a short time later - dark circles developing under their eyes. Clearly sleep was hard to come by since the news. It was Maryse who spoke first, "Clary, I owe you an explanation..."

* * *

It took some time and some effort on Maryse's part to explain herself. It turned out, that the reason Clary was permitted to live at the institute was not just because of her Shadowhunter training. Maryse and Jocelyn had made a pact together; they both knew that Clary would be safer at the institute than at Luke's house.

It turned out that Magnus Bane had been in contact with Jocelyn – Clary was still getting used to the idea that they knew each other - and together they had developed the theory that Sebastian could no longer enter the institute. Both Shadowhunter and warlock worked together, pouring themselves into research the last few weeks. They were determined to find out if Sebastian was still permitted into the institute with his Shadowhunter blood, despite his demon blood being banished to Hell and back again. It turned out that their theory was correct. Anything from the human world that was taken to the Downworld and brought back into this world was forever tainted - forbidden entry within the institute and its holy ground. Jocelyn had double checked with the Silent Brothers herself before reporting back to Maryse.

This explained why Maryse had never let Clary go out with Jace and his siblings to fight. It wasn't safe for her with Sebastian loose. All these little things that Clary had dismissed before suddenly made sense. Maryse apologised several times, linking each point of her almost rude behaviour towards Clary as a reason for protection. It was wrong of Maryse to have kept Clary and her children in the dark. It was Alec who protested first, arguing that he should have been notified of Sebastian – even if his other siblings weren't. Alec was right, it was a selfish and irresponsible act on Maryse's behalf to hide them all in the dark. The Lightwood siblings' mother only had one answer to their declarations of outrage that, _ignorance was bliss._ Only when Alec asked what to do next did Jace and Isabelle become involved in the conversation. Both of them had been unusually quiet.

The Lightwoods and Clary conversed for most of the morning. No one knew what to do. Clary suggested leaving the institute and going to Luke's farm house; Sebastian would not know it existed. The idea was considered, but it was deemed as too far away should backup be needed, or Magnus Bane could not be found to make a portal. Alec's attention had wavered every time Magnus was mentioned. It seemed, that despite cutting his emotional ties with everyone, Magnus still looked out for them. It was like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Sebastian knew Clary was in the institute, it was only a matter of time before he figured out that capturing anyone she loved would make her leave its protection without a moment of hesitation. It was Jace who dismissed the idea, stating that although Sebastian was exceptionally smart, he could not grasp the concept of loving others. Jace stated that Sebastian would not understand that holding someone at ransom was the most logical way to get to Clary.

It turned out that Maryse had kept the letter that Sebastian had left to her. Clary held it in her hands now, her eyes trailing over the perfectly scripted cursive; _Erchomai... I am coming. _The words echoed through her head. Maryse had already notified the Silent Brothers of the letter, as well as several members of the Clave who were deemed to be trustworthy by Maryse. As far as the rest of the Clave knew, Sebastian was dead. Maryse said that although it was criminal to break Clave law, this was an allowance because Maryse feared that the Clave would harm Clary in an attempt to get at Sebastian, despite his messed up understanding of love. Both Jace and Clary shivered at the thought.

New regulations were put into place for the safety of the Lightwood's and Clary. After a phone call with her mum, Jocelyn, Luke and several members of the pack were going to move to the farmhouse. It was deemed as a 'crisis point' that would provide safe sanctuary should anything happen in New York or the institute. Much to the discomfort of Alec, Magnus too, offered his house for sanctuary via fire message. Clary called Simon around mid-day notifying him of the situation. He too offered to help, but all Clary asked was that he passed on the news to Jordan to notify the Praetor Lupus. After a short exchange of news from Simon's end, he told her he would talk to her in the next few days.

Although the institute was momentarily deemed as a 'safe zone', precautions were made. Maryse made sure that everyone understood that they were not to leave the institute without notifying her. For Clary, she was temporarily banned from leaving the institute altogether – Maryse made special emphasis on not making her own portals either; even to see her mother or Luke.

It was a full on day and all the Lightwoods and Clary were exhausted. Every element was covered in regard to Clary's safety, what would happen in an emergency and how the few trusted members of the Clave were going to hunt down Sebastian. To Clary, all she was concerned about was the welfare of others, especially those now in pursuit of her brother.

* * *

During dinner that evening, everyone around the table was silent - except for the occasional question about the plans implemented by Maryse. Clary was both mentally and physically drained. She cradled her head in her hands at the table, her eyes drifting shut more than once - her lack of sleep was finally catching up with her. Jace carried her to his room that night. He obviously no longer cared for the rules about separate beds. Clary curled up in his strong arms as he went down the hallway. Once Jace entered his room, he lay Clary on his bed on top of the covers. Slowly he took off each of her shoes, smiling slightly at the sight of her little feet. His hands then travelled gently up the sides of her legs to the button on her pants. It was not the first time Jace had removed Clary's pants, but that had been for other reasons... Now it was just to help her get ready for bed. Clary lifted her hips – half conscious - so that Jace could pull them off of her. He left her shirt on and pulled his off before then pulling up the blankets and lying down beside her. They settled in for the night and Clary thought she heard Jace ask her a question, but sleep had already consumed her.


	9. Chapter 9 - A Mental Prisoner

**The Mortal Instruments – FanFiction**

**Training Days...**

**Chapter 9 – A Mental Prisoner**

_Clary was sure she was dreaming. She felt the familiar weightless feeling of unconsciousness before her nightmare weighed her down. It was like being pulled under water - dragged into its black depths. Her blood turned to ice as she looked around the familiar room her subconscious mind had brought her to. She was in her Father's apartment. No, no, no. She thought. She shouldn't be here. Clary tried to run, but she knew what was coming. Her steps felt heavy and exaggerated as they always did in dreams. The back of a hand thwarted her across the face. She cried out, but no sound escaped her lips. Her body collapsed. Like she had gone back in time, Clary found herself lying in the shattered remains of the glass table Sebastian had once thrown her onto and broken.  
She thought she was over this; clearly her subconscious was speaking otherwise. Sebastian was on top of her, his legs straddling hers. His smile was wicked and desire burned in his deep, now black eyes - his pupils dilated with lust. He ran his fingers down the sides of her bare shoulders. He moaned softly, he enjoyed touching her like that. Sebastian watched her squirm beneath him, his weight too heavy for her to throw off. Clary knew he felt the same sick burn as she did when their skin came in contact. For Clary, the feeling made bile rise in her throat. For Sebastian the sick burn made his arousal grow with each touch of their skin. It was beyond sickening. Siblings were not mean to touch each other like this. He leaned down close to Clary, his hot breath burning her skin like acid before whispering in her ear, "You cannot stay in the institute forever Clarissa. My dear sister," He smiled at the word, loving how the word 'sister' rolled on his tongue. "Where ever you go, I will find you..."_

Clary awoke with a start. The cold sweat on her chest was so thick that her singlet clung to her uncomfortably. She felt momentarily restricted by the arms wrapped around her tiny frame. For several seconds, she had to remind herself that they were Jace's arms – not Sebastian's. They were so alike it frightened her. Clary gently eased herself out of Jace's arms - careful not to wake him - and sat up. Still paralysed with fear, Clary scanned the room. It was still the dead of night, the darkness of the room was not a comforting sight as it had once been to her. Jace must have turned the lights off before he went to sleep last night. Clary had made a habit these last few nights to sleep with the lights on. It was comforting to know that as soon as she woke up from her nightmares, no matter what time, she would be able to see the institute walls surrounding her; reminding her that she was safe here. As long as she remained here in its sanctuary, Sebastian's sick ways could only reach her in her nightmares.

Jace murmured in his sleep, his arms tightening in a circle as if he was aware that she was no longer there. Still unconscious, his arms slowly trailed down the bed searching for her familiar body. A small frown appeared on his angel like face - it was usually wiped clean of emotion during sleep. He was so tender and gentle in his sleep. In some ways, Jace was like a small child seeking the comfort of a teddy bear – a luxury Clary knew he never had growing up as a child. Still too jittered to lie back down, Clary reached over to the bedside table – she knew by feel where it was in the darkness. Grabbing her witchlight runestone, it glowed with her touch. She ran her thumb over it, dimming the light right down, the last thing Clary wanted was for Jace to wake up now and see her this way. She had worked too hard these last four days to convince everyone that she was okay. This was going to be her fourth night that she had hidden her nightmares from Jace, it was imperative she continued maintaining her strong composure.

Clary had thought she was over the nightmares after she had stabbed Jace a few months ago and severed the bond between him and Sebastian. The nightmares had rarely happened since. Sebastian had hardly ever plagued her thoughts until Jace had told her that Sebastian had returned. Now all her mind could think of was her brother. It was both physically and mentally consuming. She hadn't told anyone about what Sebastian had almost done to her. Her brother, her own flesh and blood had a sick sadistic crush on her. He had kissed her during their fight that night in Valentine's apartment. She could still remember the taste of his blood from when she bit his lip – it was like poison. Clary remembered when he had reached down and had started to undo her pants... Sudden nausea stopped Clary's thoughts. She got up and went to the bathroom. As usual, she sat next to the toilet for several moments as she waited for it to pass. She spent most of her time alone dry reaching or throwing up anything she ate. Already she could see her hip and cheek bones protruding more than usual. She was losing weight at a rapid pace.

Looking at herself in the mirror, Clary saw a frightened little girl. No longer was she a brave woman, a Shadowhunter. In just four days Clary's life had turned upside down. She saw a broken girl whose eyes spoke of _fear_. Fear of losing the ones she loved, fear of being found by her brother. Against her will, Sebastian sexually gratified her and she knew what he would do to her if he ever caught her. Her fear of physical and sexual abuse from her brother gripped her like a vice. Clary watched as tears ran down her face. In some ways, Sebastian already had her prisoner.

It was as Clary wrapped her arms around herself – trying to hold herself together – she heard Jace call her name softly from the bedroom. When she didn't respond, Clary heard Jace pull the covers off himself and tread lightly to the door of the bathroom. The door wasn't fully closed – Clary instantly regretted not closing it all the way. He reached in and switched on the light, the witchlight too dim for him to see her properly. Clary turned away, trying to act natural, like it was the bright light hurting her eyes. "Clary?" Jace half whispered, his voice layered thick with concern.  
Clary's mind imploded. She knew he knew something was wrong. Finally locating her voice she replied, "I'm fine Jace. Go back to bed. I'll be there in a second. I just need to clear my... _thoughts_." It was the last word that broke her. Her temporary composure had cracked. A huge sob poured out from her as she broke down. Startled by the sudden outburst, Jace was momentarily confused.

Clary spluttered, "J-J-Jace, I don't know, I don't –" She bit down hard on her tongue. She was not going to tell Jace this. The last thing Clary needed was Jace going after Sebastian with another reason added to his vendetta. Her crying built up into an uncontrollable episode. She didn't cry for herself anymore, she was crying for Jace. She was crying out of the fear of telling him. Clary had locked up all her emotions about what Sebastian did to her long ago. Clary crouched onto the floor, wrapping her arms around her legs. Every grief, worry or unaddressed emotion it seemed, decided now was the best opportunity to resurface. Her brain threw her body into full hysteria as she felt her immense grief rock through her violently.

"You don't know what Clary? Talk to me! By the Angel, what is going on?" He knelt down and put his hands on either of her shoulders. He looked her dead in the eye. "What happened?"  
His gaze broke through her resolute as she spluttered the words, "Jace... I didn't- I did not tell you everything about what- " She choked on her brother's name. Clary tried again. "J-Jace. I haven't told you the truth about everything that happened during the fight between S-Sebastian and I..."

* * *

Seeing Clary fall apart in his hands, Jace sat down on his bathroom floor and pulled Clary into his lap. He knew when she got like this that she only wanted him there as a comfort. Her stubbornness stopped Jace from being able to help her. They both knew only she could calm herself down. At times he found it quite painful watching her self-implode, but she refused to drag him into her battles. She was so selfless and cared for others more than she realised. Jace's mind wandered back to Clary's selfless acts he had seen her do since they met. _What else had Sebastian done to her?_ Clary had developed a genuine fear in the last few days. She jumped at the slightest noise and flailed around in her sleep as she was plagued with nightmares. Clary thought Jace didn't know, she thought she had hidden herself 's instincts to protect Clary kicked in just thinking about her vial brother. Jace knew Sebastian had kissed Clary once back in Idris, but no one knew they were related – especially Clary. The whole concept made Jace's head and heart throb painfully.

Clary's small arms wrapped around his back tightly. She clung to him like her life depended on it. She was completely petrified. This was too much. A string of profanities ran through Jace's mind as he thought of Sebastian. _By the Angel, what in the Hell had he done to Clary to have her in such an emotional state like this?_ Suddenly, he wasn't one hundred percent sure he wanted to know. Even just holding Clary on the floor, Jace could feel how much lighter she was. He had been watching her; she had hardly eaten anything since he told her the news of Sebastian. In a way, he regretted it. But he knew he could not keep Clary in the dark. The violent hysteria that consumed her on the other hand, was enough to make Jace wish he hadn't said anything.

Clary coughed when she finally found her words. "Jace, when you left me in the apartment with Sebastian... The night I severed the bond between you two... I told you about the fight in the apartment, remember? You asked me about all the wounds you had received from when I hurt Sebastian? Well... there is something..." Jace let his attention wander momentarily. He needed to keep control as he realised that he was not going to like what he was about to hear. Jace counted the row of tiles on the floor as Clary continued. "You know he threatened me, several times. But, when he smashed me into the glass table... He tried- " Clary cut off, almost as if she was ashamed as well as embarrassed.  
"Clary. We have no secrets between each other." Jace exaggerated each word. "_Clary._ What. Did. He. Do?"  
Clary put her head in her hands. "H-he wanted to have... he tried to have his way with _me_."  
Jace almost vomited. He raised his hand to his mouth in time to hold it back. "No." Was all he could say. "That is sick. Sick to the bone Clary. _By the Angel_." Jace lifted Clary as gently off his lap as he could in his sudden frantics. He got up and washed his face and hands in the sink – suddenly feeling dirty. He scrubbed for ages, the skin on his hands turning red from irritation. The whole time, Clary remained silent and emotionless on the floor.

_Enough. Calm down._ Jace thought to himself. If he had any food in his stomach, it would have ended up on the floor by now. Reaching down, Jace grabbed Clary's shoulders. He didn't mean to be so aggressive, but he needed to know. "Tell me everything. _Now_." He swallowed. He would have to endure this. No matter how wrong it felt.  
"Jace-" Clary protested. He shot her a look. This was far beyond anything he had imagined.  
"Clary. Did he touch you? Did... Did he force himself onto you?" Jace closed his eyes. His control was slipping. He already knew the answer, but he still needed the confirmation from Clary. Racking his brain, Jace tried to find a word that was discreet enough to ask Clary, without freaking her out. "Did you, um... did you copulate?"  
"No. Of course not!" Her face had begun turning slightly green. "I stabbed him with the glass shard remember?"  
Relief was an understatement as Jace realised that Sebastian had not done the deed with Clary. Just the idea of thinking that if they had; how on earth would Clary had been able to hold this in for so long? The thought made him want to wrap his hands around Sebastian's throat so tight, he would wring his neck and watch the life fade in his eyes with a sick satisfaction. Jace felt his body naturally fall into a defensive manner. His arms and legs flourished with strength as he felt adrenaline course through his veins. He would kill Sebastian for laying a finger on Clary like that.

Clary whimpered on the floor below him. The soft sound pulling at Jace's heart strings. He needed to calm down. Using techniques Valentine taught him as a child, he mentally drove himself out of his adrenaline rush and fighting form – now was not the time to think of killing Sebastian.

Jace held Clary in his arms again as she told him how Sebastian threatened her in his temporary bedroom at the apartment. Clary explained Sebastian's sick obsession with her and how he wanted to own her, even if that included Jace. Clary quoted Sebastian, "He said, '_We can share him. I don't care what you do. As long as you know you belong to me...'"_

Jace rested his chin on top of her Clary's head. The familiar smell of her soft hair gave his mind a slight clarity. He couldn't look her in the eye. Jace felt entirely at fault. He had dragged Clary to the apartment with Sebastian and himself. He had put her life in danger. He had left Clary and Sebastian to prepare for a stupid ritual against his will. He should have fought harder against the bands of control Sebastian had over him. If he had tried, even just a fraction harder, he could have stopped himself from leaving Clary with her _incestuous_ brother. It was his fault those things had occurred that night. Clary had been so strong since now. Jace never knew of any of this. It was only now that Clary knew Sebastian was alive was she really perturbed. He would have to lie to himself now if he said he didn't know what Sebastian had planned to do to Clary if he caught her. A single tear welled up in Jace's eye. It was a rare thing for him to cry. _He caused this_. He had let Clary down – he abandoned her when she needed his protection most. The single tear rolled down his face – he was suddenly grateful that Clary couldn't see him.

Clary whispered, "_I do not belong to him_. I am so scared. He will get me... He will not stop. We both know what he wants with me..."  
"Clary," Jace muttered, copying her tone. "If I had known about this. Known that he had planned and attempted to rape you... you should have just finished him when you had the opportunity. You should have killed him right there and then when you had the chance. You would have killed me as well, but if I had known what he had tried to do to you, I would have gladly died that night to save you from this."

Clary reached up and put her hands on either side of Jace's face. "You know I could never do that. I struggled enough with using the blessed sword – _Glorious -_ against you."  
Jace gestured to his bare chest, where he was now branded with the scar of the rune Lilith had drawn on him, the one Sebastian had used for his control over Jace. "You see this Clary? I am no longer joined to your brother. Believe me when I say, I will end his life for what he tried to do to you. Sebastian's demon blood will drip from his lifeless body. His thoughts are the scum of this earth." He looked Clary in the eyes and made an oath to her. "Do not think for one second, that I am ever going to let anything happen to you. I let you go once and look what happened. _I will never do that again."_ He promised.

Jace also promised Clary that he would not tell any of the Lightwoods what happened. He could see she was a mental prisoner. Clary was stuck in her mind, plagued with the thoughts that her brother was going to rape her. Jace held her for a long time. He had been too soft. Jace was always his gentle side with Clary, but now was the time for him to rise. Now it was his turn for him to embrace his ruthless fighting abilities._ Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern_, he thought. _I will end your life._


	10. Chapter 10 - A Physical Prisoner

**The Mortal Instruments – FanFiction**

**Training Days...**

**Chapter 10 – A Physical Prisoner**

The rest of the week took its toll on Clary. In some ways, she regretted the night she told Jace what had happened between her and Sebastian. Jace acted differently towards her without even knowing it. He was careful when he touched her now. He made eye contact with her first – almost as if to ask for her permission – before grasping her hand or resting his hand on her leg. It was nerve racking. Clary did not fear Jace touching her. She knew he would never do anything to hurt her. It was her brother she was anxious about. It was just annoying that Jace and Sebastian had a similar build; their arms were like identical copies.

Every night that Clary had a nightmare; Jace would get up – against her refusal – and sit with her in the bathroom. Sometimes she would try to head to the kitchen with the intent to drink a glass of warm milk. It was always a half hearted effort, because she could only make it out into the hallway before the thought of anything in her stomach made her feel ill. She would have to turn and run back for the bathroom.

Clary felt weighed down. She could see the physical toll she was having on Jace. They were both conjoined in some ways. He felt her pain, taking it as his own burden. Clary could see the dark rings developing under his eyes. Sometimes Jace was just as stubborn as she was. That was what led them to this moment in time. It was early dawn and both Clary and Jace had ventured into the library together. She sat curled up on Jace's lap in front of the fire, a blanket draped around his strong shoulders. Clary held both the opposing edges of the blanket – pulling it tight around her– until it formed a cocoon of comforting heat that consumed both of them. Since the night Clary found out of Sebastian's return, the fire in the library had been blazing - its heat a comforting combat against the ice Clary felt in her heart. Both ridden with physical and mental fatigue, they sat there and let their minds wander. It was cruel. It was a sick waiting game as Alec – because he was over eighteen - and Maryse and their trusted members of the Clave were out in search of Sebastian.

Clary could feel Jace's body hum with adrenaline when he thought about Sebastian. She could feel his muscles tighten with the immense strength that flowed through his body. He was her protector inside the institute, but she knew he would rather be outside physically searching for Sebastian. That was the real type of _protection_ Jace really wanted to be doing.

* * *

Midday arrived and Jace and Clary were both in the kitchen when she received a call from her mother and Luke. They talked about how they were going up at the farmhouse. Jocelyn had been spending her time making repairs on the property; she said it was a good distraction. Luke mentioned how the members of the pack were enjoying all the extra room to be able to run around in wolf form. Clary found out that Maia would be heading up to the farmhouse soon to join them. Maia wanted to stay with Jordan in New York to help look for Sebastian, but the _Praetor_ refused to accept her co-operation because of her age. Apparently she was really aggravated; Clary almost smiled at this - Maia did have a temper on her. Before Clary said goodbye, Jocelyn mentioned how Maryse was concerned Clary wasn't eating much. Jace - who was in the room listening to the conversation - shot her a knowing look before she answered. Jace wanted her to tell her mother the truth. As expected, she dismissed her mother's concern, saying that Maryse hadn't been around the institute enough to see her eat lately. Clary and her mother exchanged pleasantries, saying "I love you" and "Look after yourself" before the line was disconnected. Clary sat with her phone still in her hand when it vibrated. It was a text from Simon;

_Just found out the news about Maia, heard she was pissed._

Clary felt the corners of her mouth draw up into a smile. It felt nice. Almost...h_appy_. She replied;

_Yeah, mum said the Praetor got pretty fed up with underage non-members wanting to help in the search. Is Izzy with you?_

A short moment passed before Simon replied;

_Iz is with me at the apartment – practically had to beg Maryse 4 permission. Ur mum said u aren't doing well?_

Clary read the message few times. She was rather irritated at being treated like a baby. Yes, she was sad and terrified for those she loved – as well as herself. But, everyone asking her how she was every five minutes was starting to get on her nerves. Her fingers quickly tapped a short reply – almost as if she wasn't fully conscious of the action.

_I am fine. Talk to you later._

Clary knew she was being abrupt, but Simon would take the hint not to bring it up again.

Jace picked two perfectly shaped apples from the fruit bowl on the kitchen bench. Grabbing a knife from the drawer, he absent mindedly twirled it expertly in his fingers before slicing into the apple skin with ease. Clary watched, she was often amazed at the control Jace could exert with anything sharp or deadly. It fascinated her that his calloused hands could be so gentle with her - yet become vicious deliverers of death in the smallest of instances. Jace sat with her the whole time she ate the apples. She felt slightly babied by him as well. But, if he didn't sit with her, they both knew she would discreetly put the pieces in the bin. She felt bad for wasting it, but she rarely felt like stomaching food - especially knowing it would only come up later.  
"It's _mind over matter_ Clary. If you convince yourself you will bring this food back up later, you will." Jace had told her. He really wanted her to eat. Eventually he gave up against her stubbornness. They made a deal. He would eat one slice of apple for every two Clary ate. She knew it was childish, but she didn't like his lack of appetite either.

Later that day, Clary went up to the training room. Setting up a target, she practiced throwing knives at it - trying to improve her aim without the use of her perfect aim rune. Using her ability, Clary had developed a rune to be able to temporarily inactivate or disable a rune's power on her body. It was small and coiled around itself several times before a line went back up through the middle. She had shared it with Jace, Alec and Isabelle a few weeks ago before everything had become chaotic. It was useful in circumstances like these. As she slammed the last knife with extensive force into her target, she heard her phone vibrate. She went over and checked it, it was Simon.

_Hey Fray, I know ur annoyed me. Didn't mean to piss you off b4. Izzy just left. It's weird, I got a message from Raphael - says he wants to meet with me tonight..._

Wondering what Raphael wanted with Simon this time, Clary replied;

_Ur right, sorry about before. I'll let Jace know about Izzy. What does Raphael want? I swear he is bipolar._

Clary waited for a reply but Simon must have been busy. Sighing, she put down her phone and ventured to the rope that hung down from the suspended beams. Looking up, Clary thought about the training Jace and her had done up there - just over a week ago... It seemed so distant now, like a life time ago. She swung on it lazily before a light fatigue overcame her. Since she wasn't eating or sleeping much, it was easy to become exhausted from the lightest of training. With her phone in hand, Clary went downstairs to find Jace.

* * *

Clary was restless that night. Jace hadn't come to bed - he was out pacing down the hallways. He was anxious because Alec and Maryse had called, saying they were not coming back to the institute tonight. She knew Jace worried for their safety. Clary's mind drifted in and out of sleep as she laid in Jace's bed by herself. Another dream plagued her subconscious. She dreamt of when Sebastian told her how repulsive he found runes and scars on a woman's shoulders and neck. The idea formed in her mind before she awoke - Clary felt a sudden fire in her veins. Her eyes darted open - she knew what would give her a sense of inner peace. Sebastian's words ran through her mind - I _hate it when women ruin their skin with scars. Keep the marks on your arms and legs._ Getting up, she grabbed her knife off the bed side table – she always slept with the comfort of knowing it was by her side. Clary wished she had her stele right now - Maryse had taken it away as a precaution to stop her from creating portals. She knew Jace's stele was in the kitchen; he had left it in there from lunch today. She decided to get this over and done with. She had the intent to hopefully leave a few deterring cuts with the knife– a prevision for Sebastian - on her shoulders, then she would use an _iratze _to heal them – hopefully leaving a few scars. Jace would dismiss them as something from training; Sebastian would see them as an act of defiance. She liked that idea more than she should have.

She was walking down the institute hallway to the kitchen to get Jace's stele, when Clary saw Isabelle heading from the opposing direction. She was wrapped up in a nightgown, looking at Clary questioningly. "Aren't you cold Clary?" She asked as she came within hearing distance.  
Clary looked down before inconspicuously hiding her small knife behind her back. _Subtle_, she thought sarcastically. "I didn't notice it was cold..." She replied, suddenly realising how heated her blood was as it that coursed through her veins. "How is Simon?"  
Izzy smiled, "Yeah he's good, considering everything...especially with his sister and now Raphael on his back." She shrugged her shoulders. "Oh, and the boys renamed their band... _again_." Izzy looked as if she was about to roll her eyes. She muttered, "_The Galactic Monkeys._"  
Clary raised her eyebrow. "At least it is better than '_Pervious Vamps'_, I think they were a bit too obvious about what Simon is with that one."  
"You got that right." Izzy answered. "Is Jace in bed yet? It's passed _one-thirty_... Speaking of which, why are _you_ out of bed? Couldn't you sleep?" Out of all the Lightwoods, Izzy was the most understanding –surprisingly – about not prying into Clary's feelings or nightmare issues. "Oh, and put that knife away. Honestly, don't think for one second that I didn't see it. You are putting me on edge." Izzy replied as she headed off towards her bedroom. Once Clary had made it to the kitchen, she grabbed Jace's stele and hurried back to his room. She still had some time left before she knew Jace would go to bed.

Clary went into the comforting sanctuary of Jace's bathroom. No one would hear what she was about to do if she was quiet. Turning on the light, Clary pulled off her singlet and the crop top she wore to bed – she found sleeping in a bra uncomfortable. Seeing her pure and exposed chest in the mirror, it gave her the resolute she needed. _It wouldn't hurt for long - s_he thought, almost as if to convince herself that what she was doing was completely acceptable. If your sick and incestuous sibling found runes and scars repulsive on a woman's body, what she was about to do was _perfectly logical_ in comparison - she justified.

Drawing the blade down articulately, Clary first drew some faint lines in her skin. She drew blood, but not enough to satisfy her that it would leave a scar when she used an _iratze_. She felt her stomach churn; from both hunger and the disgust that she wanted to draw more blood - by creating deeper cuts - to repulse and defy Sebastian. Her brother had done well to ensure his legacy of fear would live on within Clary; even when he wasn't around. Not only did Sebastian have Clary as a mental prisoner, she was also a physical one as well. Clary did not have a certain idea in her mind of what she wanted to do with her skin until she settled with three deep lines - each trailing from the tip of her shoulder before fading to an end just above her collarbone. Satisfied with her work – it could almost pass as a large scratch from a cat or a demon from far away. She drew the _iratze _on the skin at the back of her arm where it met her shoulder. She savoured the stinging feeling as she waited for it to heal over. Both the _iratze_ and her cuts would leave significant scars.

Just as Clary finished pulling her crop top back over her head, her phone vibrated from its place on Jace's desk. She quickly went to it – hoping the sound wasn't loud enough for Jace to come back to his room to check on her. It was from Simon;

_Clarissa, Just met with Raphael... I need to see you - now._

Always willing to help her best friend, Clary pressed her lips together. She replied;

_U know I am not allowed out of the institute. What happened?_

Simon was quick to reply;

_Just come outside. It is important. Only for a few seconds, I need to see you in person – Jace won't know._

Clary sighed and picked up her pyjama top from the bathroom floor. She threw it over her head as well as one of Jace's old woollen jumpers from a few years back – it wasn't his usual style. It hung on her small frame and she stuffed her phone and the knife into the oversized pockets. Clary opened Jace's door and stuck her head out, scanning the hallway. He wasn't there. Light on her feet, Clary still held the stele in her hands as she went down the hallway. _I will return it to the kitchen when I go back up to Jace's room_ she thought.

After the use of a silencing rune, Clary had finally made it to the elevator entrance and she pressed the call button. She cringed as it made loud scraping and groaning sounds as it dragged itself up from the floor below. Stepping inside and closing the gate behind her, Clary prayed Jace or Isabelle hasn't heard anything. She had now reached the bottom floor with the rows of pews leading to the front door. Clary took a deep breath as she stood before the door of the institute. This was going to be her first time outside in just over a week. She pondered about how she was breaking Maryse's rules as she opened the door and stepped out. There was an unpleasantly cold breeze as she went down the first few stairs and looked around for Simon. He said he needed her, so why wasn't he there? She thought about his message - suddenly thinking she had misread it - when she remembered that Simon had written _Clarissa_. She pondered this for a second - Simon _never_ called her that. She knew who it was before the realisation of the danger she was in struck her – she was outside the protection of the institute. Just like she had envisioned in her nightmares so many times, Clary caught sight of a flash of white blonde hair. She felt her heart rupture into tiny pieces as a hand belted her across the face, knocking her unconscious...

* * *

**Thankyou to my readers and reviewers, I appreciate all of you. If you want to find out what happens next, please read my sequel 'Torment', you can find the link for it on my profile. I can promise you it will be dark, cruel and will contain graphical content between Clary and Sebastian whilst he holds her prisoner.**

**Thankyou for stepping into my FanFiction world of The Mortal Instruments, Training Days...**


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